About my page:

Here i will post my poems and stories. I do realise not all of them will be perfect, and I accept that. If you do like something I have writen please let me know :) I hardly ever creatively write about anything that relates to me directly, so please never assume anything about me from what I write. If some things that I write offend you, I am sorry, but I do have freedom of speach ^.^

Thursday, April 30, 2015

This is...




This is reflection


Long, dark eyelashes reaching out to the world


A dilated pupil showing anticipation


A gleaming sea of exuberant joy


Smooth, porcelain skin of an innocent child


Natural beauty


Nothing fraudulent or tainted


 


This is curiosity


About life and love


The rises and falls


But choosing to see only the beautiful little things


Keeping hope when the storm is growling


When the lightning is striking your toes


This is looking forward


To bigger, better things

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Anti BP: Thoughts on a Photo From the 2000s




I remember the horrendous Gulf Coast oil spill. I still despise the company that caused it. I know they did not do it on purpose, but they made awful decisions that led to the tragedy. They did not maintain the plant well, and they should know that getting oil from underwater in and of itself is risky. If oil happens to spill on land it is far easier to clean up. On the other hand, in constantly moving water that spreads the oil out more each minute, there is nothing that can immediately rid the body of water of the oil. The spill of the Gulf Coast caused the death of various kinds of marine life, and if the animals survived, they still got oil into their system. That directly affected and still affects us. Now there is a danger for us to eat certain seafood, because if we eat a fish or shellfish that has ingested all of the toxins from oil, we can become very ill. I cannot accurately describe how much I loathe the entire BP Company. I do not even know all of the specific details of the oil spill, but I do know that it ruined beaches, businesses along the coast, marine life, our lives, and the environment as a whole. I become infuriated when I see their commercials that were filmed on the Gulf Coast shores, when they are trying to make themselves look like the heroes. They are the enemies, and just because they helped fix what they caused does not mean they have learned from their ginormous mistake. I am sure they will become careless again soon and it will happen all over again. Their biggest argument is that they create jobs for Americans. You know what I say to that? If people spent more time trying to research and test out better and safer alternatives for our fuel, that would create even MORE jobs. But oil companies like BP prevent other ideas from going full force and being accepted as alternative fuel sources. They have too much power and I hope that will dramatically change some time in the near future.  

Friday, April 10, 2015

101 Things About Me


  1. In elementary school I had a huge crush on a boy names Sam. The crush lasted from kindergarten to 3rd grade. The week he moved was the week I found out he liked me back.
  2. In preschool I liked a boy just because he had “cool clothes.”
  3. My first boyfriend was in fifth grade. We dated for a year, but never even kissed. After going to different middle schools for a while he broke up with me and we never talked again.
  4.  The only time I lost a tooth without pulling it out was when I bit into an apple. I didn’t notice the tooth had come out until I chomped down on something hard and spit it out.
  5. It annoys me that my grandma willingly gives up her entire kitchen to a colony of ants. She gets ant traps at my request, but continues leaving food out on the counters for pests to feast on.
  6. I am a naturally anxious person.
  7. I am addicted to tattoos that are MEANINGFUL (not ones that are just gotten because they look “cool, pretty, or bad***”) and WELL DONE (not sloppy, but understandable).
  8. I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled out this summer and I’m scared to go under anesthesia for the first time, and obviously I’m scared of the pain that will last the next week after the procedure.
  9. My grandfather (may he R.I.P) and I both love the taste of watermelon with salt on it.
  10. I played the alto saxophone all throughout middle school, and I was good. I got into the jazz band and got first and second chair for all-city honors band.
  11. I would still be happily playing saxophone in high school if you weren’t forced to play in the marching band to be able to play in the regular and jazz bands. My father and I both agree that the school should change that.
  12. The reason I can’t do marching band is my horrible memory and my non-existent multi-tasking ability.
  13. I believe dreams have a lot of meaning and insight into our true feelings, but no one puts enough effort into journaling their dreams (to keep from immediately forgetting them when they wake up) and figuring out the meanings of their dreams.
  14. I am deathly scared of the dark.
  15. I am terrified of wasps and anything that stings, as well as dentists and chiropractors.
  16. I do NOT feel like I am almost 18. I still feel like I am 14 or 15.
  17. I know nothing about the financial world that is opened up to you when you are an adult, and I’m worried about that.
  18. I want to be in fifth grade again.
  19. I wish colleges would look at overall grades instead of SAT/ACT scores. Or that the SAT/ACT tests were only available to students that have bad grades but think they are more intelligent than what their grades portray.
  20. I adore the ocean and being on the beach, but deep water, either clear or dark, freaks me out.
  21. One time I was body-surfing in dangerously wavy water and one powerful wave pushed me underwater and forced me to do a front flip below the surface, then I washed up on shore with water in my lungs. I didn’t go back into the water that day.
  22. I have my belly-button pierced, and I love it more than any of my ear piercings.
  23. I have my right-mid ear cartilage pierced, as well as both of my ear lobes that have 2 piercings each. They all still hurt occasionally even though they are healed.
  24. I went against the advice of my piercer after I got my cartilage done. I went to the lake and swam just 1 week after I got it. I also swam many times in public pools before my 4-6 month healing period was up. Surprisingly it never got infected.
  25. All throughout elementary school I went to Primetime, which is basically the after-school babysitting service for children whose parents can’t pick them up right after school. I could’ve easily walked home, but I don’t regret staying in Primetime because that was where I had most of my fun memories with friends.
  26. My hair was black when I was a baby, then it was blonde by the time I was 1. I dyed it red in 5th grade, got a wave perm, and loved it. Dyed it brown and red again in middle school. Dyed it red a third time my sophomore year, then after my blonde color came back I got highlights. I cut it short before junior year, and I dyed it brown again in the middle on junior year. My natural color has changed from light blonde to ash blonde, which looks grey in my eyes.
  27. I love crazy-colored hair, but I could never pull off an unnatural color, my grandma would kill me, and I don’t want to damage my hair with a lot of bleach.
  28. I love having long nails.
  29. I thought ceramics class would be easy. I was so very wrong.
  30. I have only professionally gotten my nails done twice. The first time my nails turned out great but I couldn’t stand the smell and the headache that the aromas gave me. The second time I went to the place in the mall, but the artists were awful and I could’ve done a better job painting a design onto my nails than they did.
  31. I hate that there are practically zero nail salons that have workers that can comprehend English REALLY well.
  32. Wearing make-up makes me feel so much better about myself and fills me with confidence that I usually lack.
  33. If I had a fortune I would move to Waikiki, Honolulu in Hawaii and spend a majority of my money on building a huge walk-in closet, clothes, shoes, accessories, workers to wash and put away my clothes, and food at fancy restaurants. Of course that would all happen after I give a portion of money to my grandma and my parents that could last them the rest of their lives.
  34. I love ALL animals.
  35. I get agitated easily, but only by certain people.
  36. I love my 11-year-old brother. He would do anything for me, but I don’t show my appreciation for him enough.
  37. I almost got into a car accident when my brother was in the passenger seat. Instead of freaking out like me, he calmed me down and reassured me that we were okay.
  38. I wish I was better at all art in general. I think it is such an amazing ability.
  39. I have 2 scars on my right inner wrist and many people probably think they are from self-harm, but in all reality they are from my cat that didn’t want to cuddle at the time.
  40. I get upset way too easily.
  41. Sometimes I feel way too mature, and at other times I feel as helpless as a child.
  42. I dated my last boyfriend for close to 2 years and I am pretty sure I fell in love with him. I think I am still somewhat in love with him.
  43. I enjoy being around my parents and talking to them when they are in a good mood.
  44. I love seafood with the exception of most varieties of fish. I like tuna and will eat catfish and other fish if it is fried and seasoned well. My favorite seafood is boiled octopus.
  45. Cartoons (especially SPongebob Squarepants and Steven Universe) still make me laugh and I never get tired of watching them.
  46. I feel insecure in almost all shorts.
  47. I pressure myself, and my parents pressure me, to get good grades. I have had all A’s (with the exception of one B+) since the beginning of middle school, but I did not do well in the last PSAT that I took. I realize that I am not a good test-taker. Now I am horrified to take both the ACT and the SAT. My dad was so disappointed with my PSAT score and I don’t want to let him down again, especially since they have to pay for my opportunity to even take the tests.
  48. I am bad at recognizing sarcasm unless it is super obvious with a certain tone that I can pick up on.
  49. My absolute favorite color is the bright, light blue that almost looks neon and can be found in some crashing ocean waves.
  50. I correct people, or want to correct people, on their grammar almost daily.
  51. Music can either make me extremely depressed or make me profoundly happy.
  52. I feel like most of my memory is taken up by song lyrics.
  53. There are some songs that I cannot keep myself from singing to.
  54. I feel lucky because I think for all of my high school classes I’ve had amazing teachers, especially in the subjects Math, English, and Science.  
  55. I was one of the kids that got a flip phone when I was in 4th grade.
  56. In fifth grade I am almost positive someone stole my phone from my backpack. My friends and I called my cell phone number, and someone picked up and there were multiple voices in the background. None of the voices sounded like they were speaking English. About 10 seconds later they hung up and never answered again.
  57. I hardly ever get bored, and I dislike how short many of my peer’s attention spans are.
  58. I honestly think the world would be so much better off without the human race, but instead of becoming a mass-murderer, I am striving to become an environmentalist and major in environmental studies or anything that has to do with conservation.
  59. I like reading and writing, but they both are kind of like showering to me- I don’t want to start, but once I do I don’t want to stop.
  60. I have practically stopped trying to straighten or curl my hair, because withing an hour or two it resorts back to its natural, frizzy and slightly wavy, state.
  61. I got the straight-across bangs look when I started 6th grade. It looked good whenever I straightened my hair, but I soon became too lazy to do that, and frizzy, somewhat curly (it was curlier then than it is now) hair with straight bangs does NOT look good.
  62. I probably put way too much effort into projects, writing, and overall school work in my classes, but maybe that’s one of the reasons I have had all A’s for so long.
  63. I am a naturally athletic person, but I do not have the mental strength to compete well under pressure. I tend to do quite well when I am not stressed though, like In P.E. In physical education classes I am super competitive because I know there is no real risk to worry about.
  64. I have played tennis with my family ever since I was about 5. I took official classes from age 5 to about age 12. I played on the junior varsity tennis team at Kickapoo my freshmen and sophomore year. I haven’t been on the team since sophomore year because it means missing some day of school (and I hate making up work) and less time for homework. My father says I would be good enough to get a tennis scholarship if I had put more effort into it, but I chose the academic route instead. I still happily play tennis with my family in the summers.
  65. I have been to Hawaii 6 times and Greece 3-4 times.
  66. I love snorkeling when there is an endless amount of creatures, coral, and plants to observe.
  67. My father has been telling me we will learn to scuba dive ever since our 3rd trip to Hawaii. We still haven’t done it yet.
  68. Rollercoasters are very exciting to me. I am one of those people who will be scared out of my wits before I ride a new rollercoaster, but once it’s over and I realize I’m still alive, I want to do it again.
  69. My favorite rollercoaster is Wildfire at Silver Dollar City.
  70. I dislike when someone cusses in almost every sentence they speak.
  71. I had a phase with two of my friends in 5th grade (they are still my two best friends to this day) where we would cuss when there were no adults around.
  72. I am very passive when I am getting yelled at, because I feel attacked and don’t know how to respond.
  73. I hate when people smoke cigarettes. I think I am legit allergic to the smoke because my eyes and throat burn and I immediately get a headache and need to cough constantly.
  74. I believe that if cigarettes and alcohol are legal, marijuana should be too, with an age limit.
  75. I am not religious. I do not judge those who are religious, unless they judge ME for not believing in a higher power.
  76. I always plan to do so much during the summer and only end up following through with less than half of my plans.
  77. I have a horrible circulation problem (my hands and toes turn albino white when I am even the least bit cold because my blood vessels constrict instead of expanding), when I told my doctor about it she responded, "The only thing you can do to help it is to live in a warmer place."
  78. I was popular in elementary school and sad to admit that I did talk down to certain people because of my social ranking.
  79. I was outgoing and incredibly social in preschool and elementary school, but ever since then I have been quite shy and antisocial. I think I am slowly getting more social again.
  80. I will not start a conversation with a stranger, but if they start a conversation with me I will be more than happy to respond.
  81. I use up erasers on brand new pencils in two weeks or less.
  82. I am very random and weird around people I am comfortable with.
  83. My parents make fun of me for dating guys that are typically 1-2 years younger than me, but they won't allow me to date someone who is 1-2 years older than me.
  84. Almost all of my friends and the people I get along with best are younger than me.
  85. I am not one of those people who hate certain foods because of their texture. I actually like "slimy" foods such as okra. If I will not consume some kind of food or drink, it is only because it is bitter or too strong for my taste buds to enjoy.
  86. I love jewelry but am always too lazy and forgetful to wear some everyday.
  87. My most sincere laugh sounds like a high-pitched witch cackling.
  88. I still want to trick-or-treat but my parents are close to not letting me.
  89. I spend a lot of money on Christmas gifts for the important people in my life, and I always end up being in debt to my parents because I have to borrow money from them to buy everything that I want to give to others.
  90. My favorite bakery in Springfield is Panera Bread and I get breakfast there a couple of days out of the week, or whenever I have enough spare cash to spend.
  91. I hate the color red in most circumstances, bright pink-red in a sunset is the only exception I can think of at this time.
  92. My favorite color combination is coral pink and bright light blue.
  93. I loved middle school more than I have ever liked high school, no offense to the great teachers I have had at Kickapoo.
  94. I seem to easily forget overall bad feelings that I've had in the past, unless I remember an exact situation that I was upset about.
  95. I have dated a total of 8 boys in my life time so far, and remember them all fairly vividly. Anthony: 5th-6th grade. Steven: 7th grade for 1-2 months. Luke: 8th grade for less than 1 month (I realized he was too feminine for me and felt bad for somewhat leading him on all summer between 7th and 8th grade for nothing. He didn't seem feminine over text...). Zach: early 8th grade to end of 8th grade (6 months). Dakoda: 9th grade for 2 months. Dalton: 9th grade for 2-3 months (he is still friends with me, he lives in Vegas now, and he tells me all of the time that the biggest mistake of his life was breaking up with me). Josh: 9th grade for 2 months (we are still friends and are now occasionally workout buddies). David: Beginning of 10th grade to 3/4 the way through 11th grade (I'm stupidly still somewhat upset).
  96. The only video games I am great at are Mario Kart and Donkey Kong Country Returns for Wii.
  97. I am generally awful at video games and become uninterested in them fairly quickly.
  98. I try to help my friends through everything, but when one of my friends stopped talking to me and started partying, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and having inappropriate interactions with multiple guys I cut her out of my life. My parents were proud of me.
  99. I know I have the ability to go into the science/ research types of career, but I honestly want a more laid back job that will make me more happy instead of constantly stressing me out.
  100. My lips are naturally pale and when I don't have some type of color on them I feel as if I look like a deceased person walking around.
  101. I need to have my school work organized, but my room is generally messy until I feel like dedicating a whole day to going through, organizing, and cleaning everything.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

11 Line Narrative Poem Song Freewrite

You know you won’t save me
I am turmoil encapsulated in this body
The feelings I get never vanish
My thoughts keep getting stained with black…tarnished
Even though I want to change
I never will
Because I am a prisoner of my cynical brain
You swooped in
Expecting to counter-act my sin
But you ended up just being another failed attempt
To fix my shattered soul

Lyrics Shuffle Poem

You’re the fear, I don’t care
You’ve ruined me enough already
I tell myself I don’t want you to come back
But my heart does not obey my brain
I guess you and I are too much alike
Yet different
So we are attracted together by the forces of nature
You told me you loved me
I never knew that could mean so much
So much
And we are emotionally intertwined
Whether we want to be or not
And we’ll take this way too far
This toxic, addicting relationship
I have a bad feeling
We’ll crash and burn
That is our fate
But we won’t slow down
Until the moment comes
Where we meet our demise